Tiger Woods has got divorced.
Yes it had to happen. The world’s richest sportsman gets caught with his nob somewhere it shouldn’t have been, not just once over, but dozens of times. It had been almost everywhere by the sounds of things! We couldn’t keep up with his shagging. Every day some new bit of cleavage would announce to the world that she also shafted the golfer, or else was outed by the merciless and gleeful press. Lets face it, he has shown the world how not to have an affair. Don’t for example, leave voice messages on a girl’s answering machines asking them to delete phone numbers in case your wife finds out. Neither send them text messages about choking and threesomes so they can post them on their websites.
Also calling a press conference with your mother in law present where you humiliate yourself and ask forgiveness for your ‘transgressions’ (wild shags with pretty cocktail waitresses) might be very satisfying for a furious wife but it might not be the best thing for your public image. The image we have now of Tiger Woods is no longer of an smiling, confident and unbeatable sportsman who has everything, but of a rabbit in the headlights who is shitting himself as the wife caught him banging a stadium full of horny young groupies.
Poor old Tiger. His wife has decided that instead of giving the obviously contrite and sorry Tiger a second chance, she’s going to take the 100 million. Ouch! It must hurt even more than a golf club on the head through a car window when your wife is trying to kill you.
My advice? Stay single Tiger! Shag as much as you want now as a single man and the world will leave you alone. You can have 18 holes as often as you like without all the aggro and expense! Do it while you are married and you lose the lot!
Semen Simon